Dress Emo Stuff. Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, And Goth.

Question: What can i say to my parents to help them accept my daughter's need to express herself by dressing emo?

(Posted by: darpharm5166 on 2008-09-01 15:50:03)

She wears the black clothes, died her hair black with it hanging over one eye, and is wearing dark black eyeliner. She is not depressed. She just loves the screamo bands, and likes to dress like them, but her grandparents are extremely worried. I just think it is just a phase, and she is just having fun with a new look. How can I settle her grandparents fears that she might be getting into some kind of bad scene?

Posted by: Neerie on 2008-09-01, 15:53:30

Tell them that you and your daughter have a good relationship (hopefully you do) and that you know what's going on in her life and that if you are not worried, they shouldn't be either.

Posted by: ¬¬, ok... on 2008-09-01, 15:53:51

Sit down with them and explain what emo means

Posted by: crazybluepanda on 2008-09-01, 15:54:16

Tell them "She's my daughter, not yours! " Well that sounds kinda harsh haha Tell them that she just feels comfortable like that

Posted by: AJ on 2008-09-01, 15:54:32

Tell them stop being worried that she's ur daughter that ur the one who's raising her that she is just expressing herself.

Posted by: KJ on 2008-09-01, 15:54:33

Why not just tell them exactly what you just typed. It made a lot of sense to me so tell them and add your the parent and you know when to be worried. Maybe remind them of other decade trends to show them that that is all it is.

Posted by: Axl on 2008-09-01, 15:55:23

Tell them that the emo culture is just like any other sub-culture, like the hippies in the 60s, and that it's just a phase in her life that will surely pass eventually, and that just because she likes to wear black doesn't mean she's off to join some satanic cult. I know a lot of emoes who are normal, happy people. Tell them that the people she hangs out with are regular, healthy people and not drug-crazed punks.

Posted by: ? on 2008-09-01, 15:56:19

Do a little research about your grandparents era. what weirdo things were they doing when they were young people? I'm sure there was something... swallowing goldfish? hula hoops? What your daughter is doing (God bless her little black cotton socks) is exploring the world she lives in, pushing the envelope while still remaining within the boundaries she has been taught. Any way you can express that to them? She's not getting in any kind of trouble, she just presents herself in a way they have never seen before. Maybe they haven't seen a "modern " film since A Clockwork Orange and think she's going to start bashing people... educate them. In the meantime... congrats on encouraging her expression!

Posted by: Ryan. on 2008-09-01, 15:56:40

Tell them that you are completely OK with it because you feel that kids should be able to express themselves, and that you should support her no matter what because you are family. if she truley is not depressed, then there is nothing to worry about.

Posted by: thisisveryodd on 2008-09-01, 15:57:08

Lol show them all the other one/ two year emos around. i did that when i was 13-15 then i thought...wtf!

Posted by: kittysaysmeow on 2008-09-01, 15:57:38

Just remind them that you went through phases, too. Times have changed and self-expression is vital in being a teenager; it makes her feel independent and in-control. Assure them that you're monitoring the situation closely, because you know the dangers of certain trends and how the line between good/ bad influence is fine. Then tell them that your daughter has a right to explore and that you won't close any doors for her. Assure them that you've got a wonderful, healthy relationship with her and refuse to cut down the lines of communications over how she chooses to express herself. But, on a side note, I really would be careful. Most of the times, like 90% of the time, it IS just a phase your kid is going through. But children are impressionable and can be convinced to do things quite easily, if they think it's cool enough. Take, Hannah Bond for instance: nme.com/ news/ various-artists/ 36468

Posted by: ashley l on 2008-09-01, 15:58:30

WELL..my sister did the same thing but now shes a preppy cheerleader.just tell your parents that she is exploring different things and that they should be open to different styles so she feels comfortable and maybe you should tell them that she is just going through a stage and that it will probably be over soon= )

Posted by: judy l on 2008-09-01, 15:59:40

Most grandparents don,t understand phase i was the frist one to ever put green in my hair in 1958 it was a joke for sp.day you know green befor the day was thought all my friends were puting cake c, in there hair, this two will pass,

Posted by: fleur de lis on 2008-09-01, 15:59:53

Tell them evidence points to trying to control children by your ideals is generally when the resort to lashing out in harmful ways

Posted by: MJ Vashti on 2008-09-01, 16:02:14

Explain to them that it is no different than how they would go out dressed like the Beatles, wore peace signs as bandannas and probably smoked weed to music. That her personality is her design and that worrying about her is nothing more than a rejection which does nothing but hurt her feelings, if in fact she is that vulnerable, my guess would be no...but it's not like rejecting it does nothing for them when they were watching Elvis gyrating his hips.

Posted by: sashtou on 2008-09-01, 16:04:41

[ It depends upon the age of your daughter, but ] Why give into this 'need' to 'express herself' by simply dressing in a particular way! Personally, I think it actually expresses 'ZERO', and is a way of creating waves for the sake of it ...which is NOT Self Expression, it's called 'copying'. Whatever you term it, I term it as 'Indulgence'. If she has any (ANY) form of skill or talent that allows her to express herself, then indulge that, don't just give in to this mock 'expression' of someone who is out to exploit the weak, simple minded (teens) and foolish. Sash.

Posted by: ponder02 on 2008-09-01, 16:22:21

It's quite likely that the only thing that's going to make them understand is time. Eventually they'll see that her grades aren't slipping and she's not depressed and has friends. In the meantime, tell them that you know she's fine and that you're monitoring the situation to make sure things stay that way, and then tell them to butt out. This is your kid and, ultimately, raising her is your responsibility.

Posted by: Claudia♫♪ on 2008-09-04, 07:57:32

She is getting into a bad scene, it is not innocent fun. This lifestyle is dangerous so are the mostly MALE perverts who create this chaotic dark crap they call music. The screamo bands have a message of hate, murder, violence, harm, sexual perversion. Is this what you want for her? Have you listened to the lyrics in these so called songs? It is unacceptable. Drugs and sex are next. (A band called "My Chemical Romance "? what do you think that means?)You need to act now and get control over your daughter. Or you will have a mess on your hands. If you don't believe me check out this link nme.com/ news/ various-artists